A Series of Unusual Events
by sparrowsong421
Summary: Credits to "A Series of Unfortunate Events" for the title XD... OnTheGales and I are writing this one together. Two girls keep running into characters from Homestuck. What's going on? T for swearing, AU because they're on Earth, all that good stuff.
1. Chapter 1 Karkat

**I (or another character, however you want to look at this) meet (or meets, to have proper grammar in case you go with the second choice) somebody. Try and guess who! Sorry this one is so terribly short. The other's aren't.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. I am not NEARLY smart or clever enough to write all the cool stuff Hussie comes up with.**

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><p><em>sparrowsong:<em>

Rain is coming down in sheets, drenching the hurrying people on the sidewalks. The sky is a gloomy gray, matching the dreary attitude of the overall mass of pedestrians. No one talks to each other or even really looks at one another, they all just keep their heads down.

I'm on my way back to my apartment from picking up some necessary groceries. A plastic bag swings in my hand, crinkling. I am lost in thoughts about dinner plans when-

_Wham!_ I ram straight into a guy in a black sweatshirt with the hood up. His face is shaded. I am about to apologize, but he shuts me up.

"Watch where you're going, fuckass!"

_Well then, _I think, shrugging and quickening my pace.

Then something tells me to turn around. So I do, slowly, inconspicuously, quietly.

He's already almost a block away from me but I see something that makes me do a double-take:

This guy has a lump on either side of his head, looking a bit like ears or something with the hood and all, but these definitely aren't ears.

_He called me..._I think carefully.

Then I shrug again. Huh. Fancy running into a p-o-ed cosplayer for one of my favorite webcomics.

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><p><strong>The writing isn't nearly my best, apologies, but I'm mostly going to be writing these at about 11 PM so...forgive me. They'll get better, I do believe. I wanted to have it be this guy first but I couldn't think of what would happen in an actual confrontation other than what we have here.<br>**

**Please review...**


	2. Memoooo!

**Okay guys…**

So I just kinda got the feeling that this story, with the two of us writing, is never quite going to get off the ground. She had one chapter for me, but her computer glitched or something and cut off half of it, and that's all she's written. Apparently I need to get a life, because I finished mine. XD I'm considering doing this- I might write at least some of hers and then see if she can help me write the rest. That way I'm taking the pressure off of her and I can write some more because I can never stop writing. So, Icecestro Xi, you might get to see your chapter with Equius pretty soon. :D I'll publish my second chapter later, maybe even like this evening. I'll move this memo to the second chapter and delete the first memo. The real chapter will be the third. Eventually I'll get rid of this memo and the whole thing will be normal-looking. Without further ado, I will begin preparing my chapter for presentation!

**Bless yo' face, peace out! (Tobuscus reference right thar)**  
><strong>-sparrow<strong>


	3. Chapter 2 Tavros

**Okay, I finally managed to get it up! Right now it's the fourth chapter so that people know about it, and soon I'll move it to third, and eventually second. **

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><p><em>Finally,<em> I think,_ this one is finally done!_

I put the bottle of trifectant down and sigh. Two cages down, three more to go. That's all I ever do at this shelter- cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning. Things would be easier here, except that the other volunteers always slack off all the time. Right now they're probably in the lounge, playing Foosball and guzzling Faygo. I stand up to go get a fresh rag when out of the corner of my eye I see a kid in a wheelchair come rolling in, looking like he'd just seen the face of God.

"Cats," he gapes. "Cats!"

"Yeah," I reply, not really paying much attention. I'm a bit busy. "We've got lots of 'em."

He is clearly not deterred by my briskness because I hear him follow me as I walk to the supply closet.

"Do you think, um, that I could, uh, you know, hold one? I really love cats, and, um, well..."

Seeing that this kid isn't about to leave me alone I turn around and impatiently say, "Which one?"

That's when I notice the horns.

Oh, my God, the horns.

They stick straight out of the sides of his head.

It's...it's...no, that's just plain stupid.

He excitedly leads me to a small white kitten named Tinkerbell. He says she reminds him of someone he used to know.

This is starting to become too much and I can't help but ask:

"Aren't you allergic to cats?"

He freezes. "H-how did you know that?"

I shrug. "Lucky guess, I suppose."

The kid frowns and stares at his feet. "I just...I just wanted to pet a cat."

My heart threatens to melt; I mean, not in _that_ way, it's just…this is...he is the real guy. And he's just as innocent and adorable in real life. I have just met Tavros Nitram, no matter how insane it sounds. My best friend would surely think I'm on drugs. "Here, tell you what," I grin. "I know a cat here you can pet."

"Really?" His face lights up all over again. His little fangs are somehow adorable.

I nod curtly, walking around until I find Jamie's cage. The kid- Tavros- follows me eagerly.

His first reaction is to laugh. He ends up laughing for quite a while, and when he manages to somewhat regain composure his face is flushed with hints of brown. I have to say, it looks kinda gross.

"This is Jamie. He's a sphinx cat," I explain. "This kind of cat is special in that they're sort of..." I tried to find the right word. "Allergy proof."

I gently lift the grayish-blue cat out of his cage and place it in Tavros's arms. Hesitantly, he strokes it, and beams as it begins to purr.

"Thank you," he says.

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><p><strong>I read this a bit later and realized that, while I can't think of much to do about it without messing with the flow I have going with this one, I worry it sounds like the character has a crush on Tavros XD That's not supposed to be it, honestly. He's just so cute in that sense of 'awww!' Not of 'oh, <em>he's<em> cute...' Y'know? Alright, I'll quit my rambling. Please review. The chapters get slightly better, but this isn't my best writing. At all. I pumped these out at like two in the morning.**

**-sparrow**


	4. Chapter 3 Sollux

**Yo, I'm back. Sorry I'm so painfully slow at updating. I finally dropped Math Analysis because I have no hopes whatsoever of passing that class. ._.**

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><p>Waiting usually isn't on my list of favorite hobbies, but it seems like I do a lot of that. Especially with such a virus-prone computer. I sit around waiting for a guy from the Geek Squad at least four times a year. So about every three months. My mom is about ready to kill me for the freaking expenses.<br>This time it's flipping out because I tried to update something that I know to be safe and a good program and all that but apparently the new version is too big to process or something. Who knows...my computer's stupid. At least this time this happened on a Saturday.

It's about noon and I look in the direction of the kitchen. If I go and make lunch now the guy will come. It's just that simple. If I don't, he'll come in the next two-  
>The doorbell rings. "There," I mutter. When I open the door, the first thing- or things- I see are a pair of 3-D glasses. Well, at least, that's what they look like. One lens is red and the other's blue.<p>

_What the heck?_

"So...you've been having computer problems."

Caught off guard, I reply, "Uh, yeah," and try not to show any surprise at his obvious lisp. "Come in..." I say to the guy.

The next thing I notice is the fact that this Geek-dude has horns.

Oh his head.

Four of them, to be exact.

Oh, gosh. What is wrong with this picture?

The handy li'l name tag on his blue Geek-uniform-thing has a name that I read but my mind refuses to process.

It just won't. It can't.

I direct him to the computer.

"Your computer is ancient, even by you primitive standards."

"I try to save money," I shoot back awkwardly.

_What does he mean by...? _I remember the name tag and shudder. He shrugs and tries to turn it on, but it immediately gives him the blue screen and crashes.

"Well, then," he remarks, making me think about when I bumped into that weird cosplayer yesterday.

Then, before I can think about anything else, he's got several windows up and he's typing really fast. He keeps muttering swear words under his breath but I don't know why. Eventually it turns into comprehensible words.

"This looks just like the thing I sent around by accident a few years ago! How is it on this Earth-computer, though, I wonder..."

I try to tell myself he didn't just say that.

…It doesn't work very well.

He's got the program I tried to update running and it looks different; I guess it updated. Then it clearly all goes wrong. The screen freezes.

"No," the guy yells, "no! No, what? How...? How the fuck did that happen?! How could a stupid thing like this somehow get a virus only I know how to create?!"

I look at him with alarm. "What just happened? What do you mean by that?"

"Er..." He is at a loss of words for me. "Nothing. Nothing. It's gonna be fine. Just...leave it alone for a while and it'll be good."

He tries to walk away but I stop him. "But you just said it has some weird virus! And you're just going to leave?"

He avoids my gaze- I know that for sure, even though I can't see his eyes. "Well, this is one of those things...you've just gotta wait out, you know? Uh...so... I'll be going. Have a nice day, or something."

With that, he's gone.

And also with that my computer explodes.

Hours in the future, but not many, I find myself buying a new computer. I have a flashback to a few hours in the past, to what the name tag had said:

**SOLLUX CAPTOR**

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><p><strong>Again, this writing is gonna be pretty bad almost the whole time. I wrote these, like, six months ago. All of them. Review, please.<strong>


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